Advancing Liberty Through Action

I Ached for What I Could Not Have

Sep 2, 2022

We have just one business day before senators will be back in D.C. The “Respect for Marriage Act” (HR 8404) is a high priority for Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY). He has promised a vote on it this month. We have a short time frame to stop them from this massive error.

Sadly, now-adult children raised among same-sex relationships give us an honest look at what happened to them. I’ll share below the heartache experienced by kids stuck in these relationships. The media tries to silence them. The Democrat congressional leaders excluded them by shutting down committee testimony, skipping it altogether and rushing this bill straight to the Senate floor.

It doesn’t stop there. A part of this bill also will silence any government official from speaking out against what is happening in these households. If it becomes law, the policy established will extend to the private sector. Below, I’ll share what these senators don’t want you to hear.

This bill would force the worst “marriage” laws on everyone. Rush your urgent faxes to every senator you can to block this bill. Already at least five Republicans are supporting this bill, and Democrats just need five more to pass it. —Mat

Unfortunately, it is hard for children raised in same-sex households who are now adults to speak openly and honestly about their childhood. “Because of the pressure on children of gays and lesbians to defend their parents … seldom do we feel that we can be honest about our loss publicly,” shared two women who were raised in this type of household.

These two women raised by lesbians expressed their deep longings for a father in a legal amicus brief for Obergefell v. Hodges: “We oppose gay marriage on the grounds that it violates children’s rights and cannot provide children with the most foundational building blocks for child development — a mother and father.”

Katy Faust said, “If childrearing were just about providing stability by any two parents regardless of gender, then my mom and her partner would have been everything that I needed in life. … But that was not enough.”

She continued, “My father and I have traveled a rockier path. … Despite those challenges, I can honestly say that there is a big piece of me that simply would not exist without my father’s investment and love.”

Katy said when her father told her she was beautiful, smart and strong, it resonated completely differently than when her mom and partner said it.

But Heather Barwick did not have the same luxury. She wrote, “There was one need, however, that they [her mother and female partner] could never meet no matter how much they loved me: the need for a father. … I also love my absent father. I love a man whom I don’t even know. A man who, by all accounts, is a lousy father. I don’t know why I love him, I just do. I ached for my father to love me. I ached for the father I knew I would never have. … Accepting and promoting same-sex parenting guarantees that a child will miss out on their mother or father.” (emphasis added)

Yet, right now members of Congress are working to create and even encourage this longing and emptiness in more children by passing HR 8404 and punishing anyone who objects.

This bill will effectively lock children into same-sex households and thereby permanently deny them the opportunity for a father or mother.

“Regardless of how the child finds her way into a same-sex headed household … trauma will play a role in the child’s life,” Katy and Heather wrote in their brief at the Supreme Court opposing same-sex marriage. “Institutionalizing same-sex marriage will encourage more adults to create families where either mother or father are excluded.”

We cannot allow Congress to enable this type of intrinsically permanent abuse of children. This bill already passed the House, and now we MUST stop it in the Senate. Rush urgent faxes to the Senate against HR 8404.

Katy and Heather wrote, “the reality is that society’s interest in marriage is not an adult-centric one at all. Government’s interest in marriage is children.” However, the bill before Congress will effectively shove more children into these types of houses to permanently deny them the opportunity for a father or mother.

They continue, “marriage law ought to reflect the reality that every child is born to a mother and father and that children have a natural right to a relationship with both parents. Children suffer emotional harm when they lose a relationship with one or both parents, which is categorically the case when they are raised by a same-sex couple.”

In addition, children raised among same-sex households have that missing gender permanently replaced with a negative view of the excluded gender. Testimony after testimony exposed the deep and long-lasting impact this has on these children.

One man raised in a lesbian household shared, “When I was young, I was very aware of the assumption: two women plus one son equals f***ed-up guy. You get these very concerned liberal reporters asking ‘Didn’t you miss your dad? Wasn’t that hard?’”

The “Families Like Mine” website is filled with heartbreaking and unprintable stories of the damage that same-sex parenting inflicted on the children. This site gives voice to these children deeply harmed even into their adult years from parents choosing these types of relationships. These stories are proliferating globally.

Congress can mess up a lot of things. We must stop them from messing up marriage and children. Help block this bill. Send your faxes to the Senate urging them to stop HR 8404 from attacking marriage and overriding states’ rights.

Your support of our ministry is what keeps us on Capitol Hill so we can alert you to these threats. Support LC Action through a recurring monthly gift or a one-time donation that will DOUBLE your impact through our Challenge Grant.

Mat Staver, Chairman
Liberty Counsel Action

P.S. You can also sign our petition to make sure your voice is heard in Washington, D.C.


Barwick, Heather and Katy Faust. “Brief of Amicae Curiae Heather Barwick and Katy Faust in support of Respondents.” Counsel of Record: David Boyle. Obergefell v. Hodges. March 24, 2015.  

“H.R. 8404—Respect for Marriage Act.” House of Representatives Committee on Rules. July 18, 2022.